Happy January

In my boredom, I decided to read through a little of my blog, and saw the past few posts, haven’t really been informative. Things have gotten pretty busy and stressful. Since I’m bored, what a better time to blog haha.

My boredom comes from being back to my normal job. Kristen came back to work, so I had to go back to being the receptionist. I have to admit, I was a little happy about it, because her job stressed me out. I got stressed every time I had to do the Komatsu America check run, every time I had to stay late, etc. But what I soon realized was that I was not quite ready to go back to my job. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job, most of the time. I get paid a decent amount to do a fairly easy job, which I’ve become pretty good at. The thing I didn’t think about…..was the boredom. I am usually occupied in the morning hours, because I have to open the mail, receive deliveries, change the boards, etc. The afternoon however, I almost always have nothing to do. Dee-Ann was so sweet and brought in a book for me to read, but I haven’t ready in a long time, so I don’t know how easy it will be for me. I’ve started the book, and so far it’s a good book, but I find myself searching for other things to do instead of reading it. I got a new computer shortly before I left to cover for Kristen, which has a DVD player, so I guess if things get too bad, I can start watching movies while I’m at work. I know, the fact that I can watch movies at work, probably is making ya’ll wonder what I’m complaining about. If only that was the extent of my problem.

A couple months ago, the director of Killian’s daycare/preschool, Jill, stopped Jase when he dropped Killian off in the morning. She proceeded to tell Jase that she thinks Killian has a developmental problem. Based on how long it took him to “get” potty training, and some of the other problems in his class, she thought it could eventually become a serious problem. Well, now we are at that point and need to have Killian checked out by a psychologist to see if he has ADHD, Autism or another kind of mental disorder. I personally think ADHD is a big possibility based on the symptoms. Killian hasn’t quite grasped certain activities that the other kids in his class have been able to do. When this happens, he gets frustrated and decides not to participate in the current activity. It has caused him to be mean and a bit rough with a couple of the kids in his class as well, which has caused parents to voice concerns to Jill.

I started working with Killian at home to see if we could improve his focus and get him caught up on the things he was struggling with. I haven’t been doing it long, but it was a big slap in the face to see what Jill was referring to. It has been a real struggle for me to get Killian focused, so I can imagine what it’s like for his teacher to handle him in a class of 6 other kids. I also found out yesterday, that the other kids in his class are all younger than him, which was painful for me to hear. It’s really hurtful to think about him struggling. I don’t want him to feel inferior or lose his friends when they move to the next class up.

My cousin, Nicki, is a social worker, so she gave me a couple recommendations for places to take Killian to have him tested. One place was covered by our insurance, but the other wasn’t, so I started with the one that was. I was given information for the child and adolescent center, but when I called them, they stated they didn’t take any insurance and the costs would be completely out of pocket. She then told me a 2 hour assessment would cost $340, so I decided to find somewhere that was covered by our insurance. I called Valley Mental Health yesterday and a couple more people today, but had to leave messages, so I’m a little stuck. I hope that we can get this done quickly, so we can find out how to help Killian get better.

In the past couple months, we’ve gone through Christmas and New Years and I have to admit, I’m glad 2008 is over. It was a really tough year for Jase and I, and I hope this year brings new and prosperous things. I plan to pay off some of my silly extra bills, sing more, and try to be overall happy.

One of the things to do to be happy is focus a little more on myself. I’ve kinda let myself slip a little and haven’t kept up on things I should have been. I’ve gained a tad bit of weight, so one goal is to start working on that. Another goal is to keep a steady schedule of cutting my hair. I just got a hair cut last night, and I feel great! I had let my hair get so long and it just started to get so scraggly. It was almost always in an updo, and I got so sick of it. Now my hair is short, and almost short enough that I CAN’T put it in a pony tail haha.

So far this year hasn’t been the best, but I’m hoping it gets better soon. With the Kristen stuff, the Killian stuff, having to put new tires on my overpriced car, and Jase’s uncle dying, it’s been an emotional and busy couple of weeks. I didn’t know Jase’s uncle, Scott, very well because his health had gotten worse before I became part of this family and he didn’t attend too many family events. But despite that, it was really hard seeing Karen, Jase’s mom, and Scott’s wife, Rosalind have to bury him.

They had a viewing at a place called Starks, which was a beautiful place. The room that they put the casket and all the flowers in, was a golden yellow color. The ceiling of this room was painted blue and there were clouds and gold colored stars painted on it. I assume it was supposed to be symbolic of heaven, and they really did a wonderful job. The baby’s room in our house is painted blue, so I really think I’m going to copy this and make it “heavenly”. If we have a girl, I will of course add some rainbows.

When everyone left the viewing, us, some of Jase’s family and some of Rosalind’s family stayed after for family prayer and the closing of the casket. I’d never seen the process of closing the casket, and I don’t know that I will ever want to again. This for me, was the saddest moment of the whole night. It was so sad to have to watch Ros touch Scott’s face and hold his hand for the last time. When the casket was being closed, Karen let out a sob and it just broke my heart. Even though he wasn’t in the best of shape, his death was still sudden and hard. I pray all the time for Jase’s health and safety, because I really don’t think I am a strong enough person to be without him.

Well, I think if I don’t stop now, this post will be never ending. I really need to get better at writing more often. Maybe now with my boring job, I can do that. Until next time……be safe and happy new year!